THE MAGIC SHOW

Do you ever feel overwhelmed just trying to keep everything together… Your relationship, your job, your family… And your health? 

Sister… you and I both know it’s like creating a magic show… and only you know how the tricks are done.  As it turned out… 2020 was the year the magic show came to a screeching halt and was canceled due to a raging storm.

Sometimes… Despite all our efforts to keep things running smooth… some things still come crashing down… and for me… it all crashed at once… challenging my super positive attitude in every way!  

I’ll tell you what happened in just a moment. 

LIFE WILL KNOCK US ALL DOWN

First I want to acknowledge… life will knock us all down and it will challenge every fiber of our souls… and it will be up to us to strengthen our faith that things will get better… sisterhood promise.  

As proof… I’m still here… alive and well… starting a blog to share with you the stories, insights, and resources from my journey… along with inviting others to share their stories… with the hope that one word or one story will make a difference in the lives of others who need to feel they are supported, heard, seen, and loved.

 

FROM FEELING LUCKY TO FEELING ALONE

Like so many people in 2020… I was laid off from a job I loved so very much and suddenly disconnected from a beautiful community of co-workers who were like family to me. In just a few seconds… I went from feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to feeling completely alone and unsure. 

Some people like to work alone and I can respect that… I’m just not one of those people. I’m not gonna lie… there were days I thought the loneliness would kill me. 

Being broke, isolated, raising a teenager, home schooling, and trying to stay healthy during a pandemic isn’t rainbows and sunshine. 

In two words… “It sucked!”  You feel me, mama?  

Unfortunately… That was just the start of the storm. 

TWO MONTHS LATER

Two months later while driving in the car with my 14 year old son…  I answered a call on bluetooth to hear the words “you have breast cancer”.  

What? What?  Me?  No!  How? What?  Are you sure? It took me a while to even process… then I remembered my boy!! Quickly positive rock mama jumps in to say.. ‘I’m going to be fine baby”. 

Truth… I couldn’t figure out how this could be happening. I’m one of those super-healthy people… doing all the right things. I even have an online group… ‘Bee Forever Young’ to support others on their healthy living journey. Seriously HOW could this be happening? This was NOT the call I was expecting… NO ONE EVER DOES!

The BONUS, getting kicked in the gut feeling… Just two days prior to hearing the words “you have breast cancer” … my health insurance expired. Now that really sucks! 

IT CAN’T GET ANY WORSE… OR CAN IT?

This might seem like the worst thing ever to happen to a woman. However NEVER say… “it can’t get any worse” … because it can! Around the exact same time, I endured the end of a 10-year relationship.  Let me tell you sister… cancer has absolutely NOTHING on heartbreak. Our relationship didn’t end because of a lack of love, it ended because we loved each other so much but knew we no longer brought out the best in one another.  My little family was my EVERYTHING.

The storm didn’t stop, and this was just the first 3 months. 

CRUMBLING INTO PIECES

My mind… my body… my soul…. most of all my heart experienced feelings that were deeply painful.  I found it difficult to get myself out of bed every day.  To breathe.  My world felt like it was crumbling into pieces, and I didn’t know how I could put them all back together, even more, I knew the pieces didn’t fit anymore.  I wasn’t the same person, the same woman.  

If you saw me on social media, I did my best to inspire others with a smile, a quote, and motivation, but I was finding it difficult to inspire myself, to motivate myself, to even eat.  I was positive, always… I KNEW and believed in order to beat this cancer I needed to heal my mind, my body, my soul, and my heart.  I set out on a journey to do so….

GRATEFUL

Which led me to this moment. To say I’m GRATEFUL for it all of it would truly be an understatement…

If none of this happened… I wouldn’t be able to connect and support on the level I can with you now and so many others. To share not only my story but to empower you and others to share yours as well.

FRIENDS ARE LIKE FAMILY

This is just the very beginning of a story that God gave me to share.  I endured much, much more.  The storm didn’t end it got worse, it looked more like a tsunami.  However, my faith was strengthened in ways that are indescribable.  My friends that are like family and my family that are like friends rallied to hold me together.  God surrounded me with an army of angels.  The gratitude I have for those that cared for me is colossal and I will spend the rest of my life giving back.  

FEELING ALONE

However, truth be told, even though I had many people in my life, I never felt more alone.  I found myself unemployed in the middle of a pandemic and dealing with cancer. My relationship was ending with the man I loved after 10 years of building a life together. I love his family like my own. For the first time in my life, I was a single mom.  I had no choice but to keep it together for my son.  He never saw the true anguish I lived with.  I tried my best to hide the deep pain. 

WITHOUT DRUGS

I went through this challenging time without pharmaceuticals.  I didn’t go back to my old ways of Xanax.  I could have very easily taken drugs to numb the pain and it would have been socially accepted but I didn’t. I studied and immersed myself in learning everything I could to heal myself naturally.  You’ll hear more about the unheard and radical things that I did to heal through this journey.  I fueled my body with only things of the earth that God blessed us with.  

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

My prayer is that this blog gives you courage and strength and faith to battle whatever you are living with and going through.  I wasn’t given the story for myself I have always known that God gave me a story to share and to help others tell theirs.

Here’s to a storytelling journey together.

It takes a village and I’m grateful you are a part of mine.

Love and Light,